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Jay Lake
Date: 2010-09-28 05:41
Subject: [personal] Transitions
Security: Public
Tags:calendula, cancer, child, family, health, personal
Yesterday was a busy day. I worked the Day Jobbe. In the afternoon, T&J came over and repaired a problem in my kitchen. (For which I thank them immensely.) Mom and Dad came by to say farewell before they leave town for 2.5 months tomorrow. calendula_witch came by to say good-bye to Mom and Dad. the_child turned up a while too, though I crapped out so early I didn't get to spend much time with her.

Found out yesterday that someone dear to me has had some dreadful cancer news, apparently about the same time I was getting my reprieve. I suppose the universe has to balance its books somehow, but I spent the evening quite depressed (hence the early bed time). I still have barely tasted the joy of my own walkback from the Big Edge, and now I have to watch someone else hurtle that way much harder and faster than even my worst fears of my own trajectories would have had it.

Really, I've had enough of cancer to last me a dozen lifetimes. My own or anyone else's. If I love you, stay healthy. If I don't know you, stay healthy. If I can't fucking stand you, stay healthy. Life is a terminal experience by definition, but as calendula_witch said last night, we're all too young for this. (Though in truth I'll still be too young for this if I lived to be 95.)

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