And the shredder got me yesterday. Had a very bad day emotionally. Retreated into some ancient, destructive behavior patterns commingling depression, passive-aggression and rank stupidity. Once again, calendula_witch and I made the save before day's end, but damn this is hard. Somehow it's gotten a lot harder right here at the end. The aforementioned prison riot syndrome.
One danger point is that this is not over. I haven't yet beaten cancer, merely escaped this particular round of treatments due to some arrant good luck. Every single scan is a potential brick wall on the path of our ambitions for life, love, writing and relationship. I am really working hard on living in the now. The future is uncertain country.
calendula_witch has family coming to town this weekend, which means I do. (That is kind of a nice thing to say and think.) What with all the chemo visits and last June's relocation, she's gotten to know my family pretty well. My mom, dad, step-mom, sister and niece all live in Portland, most of them within a couple of miles of Nuevo Rancho Lake. Only my brother is far away. So calendula_witch has experienced the Lakes at full bore for a while. I have met the Witches before, but look forward very much to knowing them better.
In other news, I walked again this morning. And I kept a good, solid pace for the first time since last November, before the lung resectioning. Distance was nothing to shout about, a bit over a mile, but heart rate was up, breathing was deep, and I moved. With any luck, I'll be fit to hike the Gorge trails soon. It's almost the time of year where one doesn't hike the mountain trails unless one is a serious winter sports die-hard, so I'll have to wait til next spring for altitude.
Been a long time since I've been hiking.
Finally, in the proud parent department, I report that the_child joined her school's track team two weeks ago. She is a hell of a sprinter, so of course they put her in a three-kilometer distance event. Kid's never run for distance in her life. Yesterday was her first track meet, mixed-age girls her grade year and the year above. Her school's four-person team all placed in the top 10 of a field of 50, including the_child her own self, who came in 10th competing against girls mostly older and more experienced than her. I am so very proud of her.
Life, maybe, is returning to normal.