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Jay Lake
Date: 2010-11-16 05:04
Subject: [cancer] The clock in my head
Security: Public
Tags:cancer, health, personal
My sleep patterns tell me a lot about how my body is doing. On chemotherapy, I routinely slept anywhere from nine to eleven hours a night and often took naps. I did not awaken reliably. I was groggy many days.

In the past few weeks, I've been able to wake comfortably and fully rested with six to seven hours a night of sleep. I still seem to need a longer night every few days, but not by a lot. This is allowing me to recapture much of what I consider to be my productive day.

Also, I've once more begun waking up when I decide to. This is a trick that I'd lost since last November, through the surgeries and the chemo. In my normal health, I can tell myself before I go to sleep when I want to wake up. I wake up then, usually three to five minutes ahead of the target time. I can go weeks without ever using my alarm.

That clock in my head is finally back. I hadn't realized how much I missed it, simply as a signifier of how I feel.

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User: joycemocha
Date: 2010-11-16 13:46 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Now you know you can get it back. I think that's the scariest thing of all, wondering if you can get yourself back after something like chemo. When I was sharing your experiences with my former colleague who had gone through both chemo and radiation (she was long-term subbing for someone out for gut surgery--Crohn's), she said to tell you that it all does come back.

Certainly, watching her example, there's no question. Though she did decide, afterward, that she was no longer going to teach, even part-time. And I learned from another teacher going through chemo of some spectacularly horrific side-effects which are apparently a result of breast cancer surgery plus chemo plus radiation (upper body swelling).
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User: barbarienne
Date: 2010-11-16 19:51 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
See? The real Jay Lake didn't disappear forever. Here he comes again. :-)

Next thing you know, you'll be growing your hair again!
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