Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[cancer] On invisibility

Having come back from Readercon yesterday, I can confirm a phenomenon I first observed at the Locus Awards in late June. It is thus:

My hair loss from chemo has rendered me almost invisible. Or at least unrecognizable.

People I've known for years will walk right past me. Even if I wave or greet them, I often get the generic busy author nod with a clear lack of engagement. For a number of folks I had to either get within badge-reading distance, or state my name.

It's a very peculiar feeling. It's been a long time since I've been so anonymous. But without my hair, and especially without my beard, I simple don't look like myself. I'm sure the effect is magnified by my chemo fatigue body language, which isn't my usual energetic vibration state.

So far, I've for the most part found this amusing. At some point it will stop being funny and start being annoying.

Tags: cancer, conventions, funny, health, weird

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