Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake
jaylake

[cancer] Sleep

Last night I took half a Zyprexa and no Lorazepam, as part of my plan to be able to wake up the next few days. I went to sleep fitfully but successfully around 8:30 or 9:00. At 11:30 the smoke alarm in the kitchen went off for no detectable reason. My caregiver H— dealt with it, but by the time we had the alarm turned off and she’d checked the house, I was wide awake.

I remained awake until after 2 am. (This I know from the chiming of the grandfather clock.) I was trapped in the drowsy-but-sleepless state Zyprexa induces in me. And I really didn’t want to get up after midnight and take a Lorazepam, because I’d have slept til almost noon today, and been messed up for tonight and tomorrow.

As a result, I feel very ragged. The timing of this little incident was abominable. And crankity crank crank crank me. I don’t enjoy being in this mental state.

Needle comes off a bit later this morning. Then I just rest some more.

Originally published at jlake.com. You can comment here or there.

Tags: cancer, health, personal
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