Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake
jaylake

[cancer] Failing downward

Yesterday I failed my blood test. My neutrophils were down to about 400, which is somewhere in “Die, you insolent dog” territory for immune system failure. So no chemo for me this weekend. Also, for the next few days I am severely immunocompromised. Avoid crowds, avoid or carefully wash fresh fruits and vegetables, avoid sick people, wash my hands a lot, and so forth.

Basically, I have to sit home alone and eat rice and act like I am an agoraphobe with OCD.

It’s not like I had a lot of plans for the weekend, what with the chemo and all. Except no more chemo this weekend. It’s been rolled back to next week, pending my neutrophils bouncing back.

The root of this problem is that we skipped the Neulasta on the last chemo go-round. My blood counts had held up well, and we were trying for an every other session Neulasta dose. Clearly we were wrong.

There are some minor upsides to this. I get another week without chemo, which means I’ll be a little stronger and more healthy going into the next chemo round.

But there’s also some issues. This causes problems for my caregivers and their scheduling. This causes my end date to move back to the weekend of December 9th instead of December 2nd. This causes minor issues with work scheduling.

Finally, this underscores what I was talking about yesterday. I have no control over this disease and its treatment processes. I am at the mercy of the disruptions to my body. I spent much of yesterday being very frustrated and irritated. I am less so now, but I remain deeply discouraged.

Originally published at jlake.com. You can comment here or there.

Tags: cancer, health, personal
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