Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[writing] Catching up and falling behind

I got a fair amount done yesterday. More work on the collaborative novel outline, some work on several other projects, and quite a bit of time combing through my old cancer blog posts with the interests of building an index to my cancer blogging, and pulling together an outline for a potential nonfiction book based on my blog posts.

What I didn’t do yesterday was lay down significant new fiction wordage. This despite a need to continue developing the outline, and a short story commitment which is due shortly. My right brain didn’t want to cough to life for that.

This is what I often call WRPA, or “writing related program activities.” Things which are a part of writing, but are not drafting or editing fiction. WRPA is important, and I used my time well yesterday. But it still bugs me that I did not commit new fiction.

I’m under so much stress right now from the cancer issues, and it leaks into my writing work. I despise and resent the disruption. Still I recognize it as part of my own processing.

Weirdly enough, even though I was resisting drafting fiction due to cancer stress, I spent considerable time with my old cancer blog posts, starting from April, 2008. Lot of cancer stuff, and a lot of stuff about [info]calendula_witch. That brought back a lot of difficult memories and weird life echoes.

This feels like it will never end except in my death. Which is true, in a sense, and possibly quite literally so. Meanwhile I write and keep writing. Or try to. Even when I can’t write.

So, yesterday, I caught up and I fell behind. Today, who knows?

Originally published at jlake.com. You can comment here or there.

Tags: cancer, health, personal, process, writing

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