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Jay Lake
Date: 2011-10-29 08:45
Subject: [personal] Burning down the house
Security: Public
Tags:cancer, dreams, family, health, personal
Yesterday afternoon during one of my chemo naps — I'm on the pump this weekend and sleeping a lot — I had a brief, laughably symbolic dream. I was home in a dream version of Nuevo Rancho Lake. I was on the chemo pump, and half the house had burned down. It was still smoldering, in fact. Mother of Child was scolding me for having the place in such a mess. I asked her if I could wait until I was off chemo and the ashes had cooled before cleaning up.

It's a pop truism that one's home symbolizes one's line in dreams. Well, that's my life under cancer, all right. Half burned down and still smoldering. And me on the pump, well, I guess that symbolizes me on the pump. MotC scolding me is my subconscious telling me to cut it out and get my life in order. My asking her to wait is me saying not yet, I can't do it now.

Ah, cheap pop psych symbolism. Heh. Surely my subconscious can do better than this.

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mlerules: Brain
User: mlerules
Date: 2011-10-29 15:54 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
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That Which Fights Entropy: gallifreyan text 1
User: amberite
Date: 2011-10-31 11:42 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:gallifreyan text 1
Sometimes, dreams just are what they are. I keep dreaming that I accidentally forgot and ate something with wheat in it, which is clearly a variation on Dreams As Learning What To Avoid (I had similar dreams of, say, ingesting poisonous substances the first time I ever had a chemistry class.)

And then there were the ones where I showed up to take the MCAT late or unprepared. They left me feeling extraordinarily chagrined - not for the content of the dream, but for having bought into a test-taking anxiety dream. I mean, normal people have those! I don't!
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