And lo, Jay was afflicted with fatigue, that chemotherapy might be with him for many of his days
And lo, Jay was afflicted with the raging flux, that he might befriend his humble toilet at length
And lo, Jay was afflicted with pulled abdominal muscles, the flux it was so mighty and fierce
And lo, Jay was afflicted with a head cold, for there is never a better time for the snot goblins
And lo, Jay was afflicted with first degree burns from spilled tea, to remind him of his frailties
And lo, Jay abided him in Egyptland and waited to see what the seventh plague would bring