Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake
jaylake

[personal|cancer] Bottoming out, I hope

I slept about fifteen hours yesterday, counting roughly three hours of napping plus twelve hours overnight. And yesterday was probably the worst day for fatigue that I've experienced during this chemo sequence. Or, really, ever. I hope like heck it was peak fatigue, and that I'll be a little better today. It's going to make celebrating Christmas tomorrow a bit tough if I can't keep my eyes open.

Both the nap dreams/daydreams and the overnight dreams were about food. Pizza, largely, though in some unusual forms, such as made on a Prius floormat, or being used to burgle a safe. (No, I can't explain now how in my dreams pizza is useful as a safecracking tool. And floormat pizza is just gross.) Sometimes I dream about hamburgers, but not yesterday. Food... food... food... The problem of course is the intersection between my rare physical cravings, my food aversions, my food dysfunctions, my chemo-damaged mouth, and the desires romping around in my backbrain for food that tastes like anything but aquarium tubing.

Oh well, we all have our little obsessions.

Today I am laying very low, tomorrow have two small family events, and that's it. So if fatigue is my lot, I'm all tooled up for it. Whatever you're doing, however you're observing (or ignoring) the season, do it well and be happy. And eat something that tastes good, just for me.
Tags: cancer, dreams, family, food, health, personal
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