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Jay Lake
Date: 2012-06-14 08:21
Subject: [family|cancer] Back to the hospital (not me this time)
Security: Public
Tags:books, cancer, documentary, extremes, family, friends, health, healthcare, photos, writing
Yesterday afternoon, [info]tillyjane (a/k/a my mom) called me to come take her to the ER. I'd finished my Day Jobbery, just capped off an hour of writing time on Going to Extremes, and was preparing for another long interview take on the documentary project.

Instead, Donnie Reynolds, Lisa Costello and I loaded up into Donnie's car and raced across town in rush hour traffic to pick up my mom at her primary care clinic and transport her to her ER. Donnie brought his "B" camera, because we were shooting for a documentary about the lives of me and my family, after all.

We got [info]tillyjane to the ER, where a four-hour wait ensued. Along with some guerrilla filmmaking. My mom's housemate A— showed up after a bit. Eventually [info]tillyjane was processed and admitted, which led to about four hours of hurry-up-and-wait testing. We recognized our ER nurse from prior visits, and he recognized us. That's a frequent flyer club you don't want to be a member of.


In the end, the tests were inconclusive. The symptoms which had caused her to be referred to the ER did not recur. My mom was sent home somewhat after midnight. She has specialist followups, probably next week. For now, she is fine. A— Donnie and Lisa are all Heroes of the Revolution for being there and keeping both [info]tillyjane and me propped up and going.

As for me...

Her symptoms are not mine to describe here, but suffice to say they were closely akin to what drove my original hospital admission and cancer diagnosis back in 2008. That possibility won't be ruled out until after her specialist followups. I am very frightened for her, far, far beyond anything justified by the clinical evidence or current medical opinion. I know this is my emotional trauma over cancer shouting loudly in my ear. It's not logical. But it is very real.

Even if the worst happens, we know what to do. And it's likely enough the worst won't happen. Of course, that's what they told me about my initial presentation. Cancer wasn't even on the top five list of likely diagnoses. That's what they told me about my initial metastasis, that it wasn't at all likely to ever happen.

Once more, I am feeling the burn.

Photo © 2012, Joseph E. Lake, Jr.

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This work by Joseph E. Lake, Jr. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

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User: joycemocha
Date: 2012-06-14 15:47 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Many positive thoughts streaming your way for you and your mom. And you're right, this is a frequent flyer's club you DON'T want to be a part of (with DS for three ER visits and by the third, everyone at Kaiser Sunnyside knew full well who he was and who we were.....'nuff now, no more, really truly folks).
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User: martianmooncrab
Date: 2012-06-14 16:28 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Our Inner Child doesnt deal with events like this very well when a beloved Parent is involved.

Hope that the followup appts have a good outcome.
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User: tillyjane
Date: 2012-06-14 16:38 (UTC)
Subject: feeling fine
Just a word to the world of Jay...I am feeling fine this morning. Jay is a rock, and I wish I didn't have to lean so hard on him. All I can do for the moment is get the followup ASAP and bring what relief that will.

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Reynardo the Red
User: reynardo
Date: 2012-06-14 22:30 (UTC)
Subject: Re: feeling fine
Dear tillyjane,

We spend years being the rock for our Small Ones, from the moment they're placed in our arms for the first time, through dealing with school, dealing with pets, dealing with life, dealing with death and dealing with love.

It's ok for them to be the rock once in a while.

Make sure you leave a pair of dirty socks out for him to pick up, one at each end of the house. Just because.

Also, from a stranger on the other side of the Pacific, *hugs*

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User: mcjulie
Date: 2012-06-15 13:34 (UTC)
Subject: Re: feeling fine
Jay is a rock and so are you. All the rocks have to lean on each other, because that's how you build things.

Best wishes to everyone.
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User: kshandra
Date: 2012-06-14 17:06 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
We recognized our ER nurse from prior visits, and he recognized us. That's a frequent flyer club you don't want to be a member of.

Oh, I remember those days. My favorite ER recognition story was a visit from a year or so ago where the nurse and I realized we'd been in high school band together...
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User: cathshaffer
Date: 2012-06-14 17:19 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I'm wishing her all the best. Going through cancer as both a caregiver and a patient is too much for anyone. :-(

If it is ok with her, please update us when you know more.
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frabjouslinz: Me Street
User: frabjouslinz
Date: 2012-06-14 17:40 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Me Street
Thinking of you both.
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smoking catnip and chasing my tail: crazy bastard
User: jettcat
Date: 2012-06-14 17:44 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:crazy bastard
Virtual hugs from the internets.
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Kari Sperring
User: la_marquise_de_
Date: 2012-06-14 17:52 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Very good wishes to her and to you.
Kari xx
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Greg van Eekhout
User: gregvaneekhout
Date: 2012-06-14 18:32 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Wishing you and your mom all the best.
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User: lupagreenwolf
Date: 2012-06-14 18:45 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Good thoughts to you all.
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User: melissajm
Date: 2012-06-14 21:50 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I hope it all turns out well.
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Rhonda Parrish
User: rhondaparrish
Date: 2012-06-14 22:02 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keeping my fingers crossed and my thoughts with you and your family.
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Rick Moen
User: rinolj
Date: 2012-06-15 06:47 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Best of wishes for your mom -- and hang in there, both of you.

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User: threeoutside
Date: 2012-06-15 16:11 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Got all my limbs & digits crossed for your mom - sounds like, from her comment above, she's feeling better and in good spirits - waiting is the hardest. Hugs to both of you!

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my journal
January 2014
2012 appearances