This makes it difficult sometimes for me to engage in self-care. As relentlessly social and extroverted as I am, even I need to retreat sometimes. That might be into myself, or with a trusted friend or intimate, but it also means away from everyone else.
I struggle with the sense of ownership and being owned. This is my cancer, my struggle, my life, my death. How much do I owe my family and friends? How much do I owe
If I don't do some self-care, I'll have a harder time of coping, and therefore a harder time being a loving father, son, lover or friend. If I do some self-care, I feel guilt for abandoning these people who love me most and best and who struggle to help see me through my travails.
I suppose in the end, the cancer owns us all. I get to be the one who has to find and strike a balance every day underneath the iron weight of its oppression.