Heating blue sky
And a road that goes forever
I'm going to Texas
— Chris Rea, "Texas"
Last night I had a pretty deep emotional crash. It wasn't particularly demonstrative, more of a withdrawal than an explosion. Lisa Costello was very patient with me. This is scanxiety of course, me fearing next Tuesday's CT scan. Now I know every single time they look inside me, I'm playing Russian roulette as we hunt for the next round of metastasis. This is the reality of my mortality being delivered in two-month packages. It chills my heart and sears my soul.
To that end, later this morning Dad, Lisa and I are going to Texas. The goal of course is next week's oncology second opinion appointments at M.D. Anderson. But we're going to visit my old home of Austin, eat at the Salt Lick and Chuy's Hula Hut, visit with Donnie Reynolds and his lovely spouse, see my Aunt V—, and generally take the old home tour. (For those unaware, I am a seventh generation by descent, and lived in Austin from 1982 to 2000.) Also, while in Houston, we'll be seeing my Aunt B— and Uncle L—.
We'll be there through Thursday, with the main appointments Tuesday and the Open Dinner Wednesday [ jlake.com | LiveJournal ]. There's a possibility they'll ask me to stay on for more tests or some treatment protocols, we shall see. Also, with any luck, I'll have the clinical analysis of my genome available prior to the consultations in Houston.
For now, I take to the skies with people I love.