Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[awards|cancer] A few more thoughts on being nominated for both the Hugo and the Nebula

...because my brain slowly unfolds.

Back in February, when the Nebula nomination was announced, I talked about how my novella "The Stars Do Not Lie" intersected with my cancer journey [ jlake.com | LiveJournal ]. As I said then:
I initially drafted this story in the throes of chemotherapy back in 2010. I did the rewrite after I finished chemo. So it's definite "fuck you" to cancer to have this story do well.

This is even more true now as I continue to process my mortality, and are coming to grips with counting my future productive writing lifetime in months rather than years. (Two to four months right now, if anyone's counting along with me.) The Hugo nomination announced this past Saturday just deepens my feelings.

This current month, April of 2013, is the 5th anniversary of my cancer. In those five years I have managed to write more than half a dozen first draft novels and on the order of 100 short stories, and publish about five novels and most of those short stories. But I keep slowing down as the cancer intensifies, as the treatments intensify, as my life keeps getting stolen away. I've commented before this is probably the last year I'll be able to attend awards ceremonies, so it's nice to go as a participant.

The timing is weird. Almost Hallmark movie-of-the-week weird. But I'm glad it's happened this way, as opposed to posthumously, or not at all. This all sets up strange resonances in my head and in my heart. I have for years embraced this field professionally, socially, personally. It's wonderful to be embraced in return.

Also, as several people reminded me after I failed to mention it when posting about this yesterday, Asimov's has "The Stars Do Not Lie" available for free download on their site. Whether you're an award voter, a fan, a friend, or just curious, go check it out.

Tags: awards, books, cancer, health, personal, stories

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened