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[cancer] Who wants to live forever? - Lakeshore — LiveJournal
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Jay Lake
Date: 2013-05-08 18:24
Subject: [cancer] Who wants to live forever?
Security: Public
Tags:cancer, health, personal
Who wants to live forever? Not me, apparently.

I'll make a more detailed post tomorrow, but the short form version is that I have a large mass in my peritoneum, two inches or more in size, along with another somewhat smaller mass. These are more omental tumors. Multiple masses of various sizes spread throughout my liver, some of them confirmed tumors, some of them suspected. Also two spots in my right lung which are suspected tumors. Tumors this widespread are not subject to surgical treatment. Not to mention which my liver is too fragile for further surgery in any case.

We are starting me on Regorafenib later this month. The hoped for outcome of this treatment is six to twelve months of life extension through arresting tumor growth and further development. If the Regorafenib is ineffective, or when its efficacy drops off, I can expect about three months of decent quality of life, followed by six to nine months of decline, ending in death. In the mean time, of course, I will have to tolerate the rather substantial side effects of the drug.

In other words, I will most likely die within nine to twenty-four months from now, depending on Regorafenib's effectiveness. I will never again be out of treatment or free of cancer.

This is my terminal diagnosis. We will continue to push as much as possible for further treatment and life extension, but I'm on the last plane out. Just remains to be seen how long the flight is.

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ericjamesstone
User: ericjamesstone
Date: 2013-05-09 01:27 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Even thought this was expected, I'm very sorry to hear it.
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Deanne
User: deakat
Date: 2013-05-09 01:30 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I am so very sorry to hear this.
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User: joycemocha
Date: 2013-05-09 01:33 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Crap. Crap, crap, crap.
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Laura Anne Gilman: dandelion break
User: suricattus
Date: 2013-05-09 01:33 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:dandelion break
Damnit.

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Sara: opposite
User: goldfishsara
Date: 2013-05-09 01:36 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:opposite
Fuck cancer. Fuck it right in the ear.
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Dave O'Neill
User: daveon
Date: 2013-05-09 01:39 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
+1
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Queen of the Skies
User: queenoftheskies
Date: 2013-05-09 01:38 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
::HUGS:: I'm so sorry.
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cathschaffstump
User: cathschaffstump
Date: 2013-05-09 01:38 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Nothing anyone could say could comfort at a time like this.

Now I will go and yell at the universe on your behalf. I'm sorry, Jay.



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Jenn Reese: daisy
User: jennreese
Date: 2013-05-09 01:39 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:daisy
I'm so, so sorry. Sending hugs and every good thought possible.
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puppetmaker40
User: puppetmaker40
Date: 2013-05-09 01:39 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I was hoping that this would be a further down the road thing.

My sympathies.
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User: swan_tower
Date: 2013-05-09 01:41 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
There are no good words for this. "Fuck cancer" is the best I can do.

I am so incredibly sorry.
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madrobins
User: madrobins
Date: 2013-05-09 01:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Dammit. There is nothing to say, except that if there's any way I can help to make your time better, let me know. I am so so sorry.
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Kelly Green
User: saycestsay
Date: 2013-05-09 01:56 (UTC)
Subject: with you
we knew this was coming, though the multiplicity is a terrible surprise. so now we continue to love you. hugs, jay.
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User: renesears
Date: 2013-05-09 01:57 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Shit. I am so sorry, Jay. Don't know you personally, but my thoughts are so with you.
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User: mmegaera
Date: 2013-05-09 02:00 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Fuck cancer with the horse it rode in on.

I am so sorry, Jay.
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shelly_rae: Elephant Poop!
User: shelly_rae
Date: 2013-05-09 02:01 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Elephant Poop!
oh Jay how horrible. May I ask? without the new chemo drug how long do they give you?
Cancer sucks great big snot monkeys.
Good luck.
Anon
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Jay Lake: cancer-biohazard_bag
User: jaylake
Date: 2013-05-09 02:04 (UTC)
Subject:
Keyword:cancer-biohazard_bag
Without the drug, 3 months of relative good health, followed by 6-9 months of decline.
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Samantha Henderson
User: samhenderson
Date: 2013-05-09 02:03 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I have no words except I'm so sorry.
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