Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake
jaylake

[cancer] The feet are always the first to go

Yesterday was my turn to cook here at Rio Hondo. I made momos, with a substantial assist from David Levine and Carrie Vaughn. In the kitchen cooking, which takes a while, my feet gave out. There's no other way to describe it. @dratz came to my rescue, took over the cooking and final meal prep on my behalf, while I lay on the couch. Even sitting at the table eating dinner with my feet on the floor was painful, so I retreated once more to the couch before going to bed early.

The best I can describe it is that the skin irritations produced by Vectibix sometimes express themselves as very tender, painful calluses on my feet. Being on my feet so much yesterday afternoon put so much pressure on those calluses that I could not be on my feet any more.

Next Monday, I start Regorafenib, a medication which is much harder on the feet (and hands) than Vectibix. This is only a taste of things to come.

Cancer erodes me, piece by piece, until there will be nothing left of me but laboring breath and the last guttering sparks of my will to live.

Tags: cancer, events, friends, health, personal
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