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Jay Lake
Date: 2013-06-20 05:10
Subject: [writing|cancer] I meant to write yesterday, I swear
Security: Public
Tags:cancer, meta3, process, writing
Fred is elusive these days. Which frustrates me.

Tuesday I'd managed to put in over an hour on revisions and editorial tasks, mostly connected to METAtropolis: Green Space. This after a week+ lost to JayCon and related festivities, overlapped with six days of not having my MacBook Air available to me. "Yay," I said to myself, "I am back on the horse."

Then yesterday I spent the entire day dealing with either Day Jobbery or the disability application process or visiting the doctor. My energy is not what it was, and neither is my efficiency. By the time all this was done, around 5 pm, I was simply too exhausted to then deal with writing.

Mind you, I used to be able to work all day and write all evening. Not so much anymore.

The scary part is that I already know this is how my writing will end. I will simply peter out, too tired one day to put the time in, then the next, then the next, while the brain fog of chemo and cancer settles in ever deeper until one day I'll realize I haven't done anything in a month, and there aren't very many months left for me to live.

So every time I miss a day, I wonder if this is the beginning of the end for my writing. Yesterday wasn't that day, I do know this. But it sure felt similar.

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Kari Sperring
User: la_marquise_de_
Date: 2013-06-20 13:36 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
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curious Eve
User: curiouseve
Date: 2013-06-20 21:16 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
FWIW, I've observed myself getting exhausted much earlier than usual when I took trazadone a day or so before.
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Nat S Ford
User: natf
Date: 2013-06-23 23:39 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)

Every now and then I have to mourn the loss of another ability, skill or expertise to The MonSter (MS) (trampolining and coaching, swimming, drawing, cycling, driving, walking further than 10 yds, etc.) but cannot imagine that amplified to the extent and frequency that it is for you.

Edited at 2013-06-23 11:39 pm (UTC)
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