Log in

No account? Create an account
An author of no particular popularity

Jay Lake
Date: 2013-06-21 05:32
Subject: [cancer|writing] Another frantic day
Security: Public
Tags:cancer, child, health, work, writing
Yesterday I again lost my writing window. The morning was pretty good, including a media interview, but then I lost control of the day. I had meals with friends scheduled, which happened just fine. But some unexpected Day Jobbe responsibilities popped up. One of the disability applications I have outstanding generated an urgent (and unscheduled) return phone call which required response, which in turn soaked up more than an hour. Some of the workplace transition issues which I had asked to deal with next week emerged urgently and unexpectedly yesterday afternoon, consuming quite a bit more of my time. And of course, I had [info]the_child's basketball games last night. None of that stuff could wait for another day, none of it could be done by someone else.

So, no writing, but tons of busy-ness culminating in fatigue. And more trazodol last night, which I took too late in the evening on account of being out at the games. So again this morning I woke up groggy and disoriented.

I swear to God, I want to write some more. It's just been impossible to manage lately. And even if I recover some of my time today (which seems doubtful given the schedule in the offing), I am a week+ behind on responding to email, for the same reason I'm so far behind on writing.

Ah, me.

Post A Comment | 3 Comments | | Link

User: joycemocha
Date: 2013-06-21 15:31 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hugs. I'm not sick but I'm struggling with similar issues--life intruding into writing time. June is a horribly discombobulated month.

My dear, you will write again. Even if it means that somebody like me has to come over and take dictation to get you through it. I know you will. It's just that some days and weeks the barrels of wildcats escape beyond the possibility of herding. You are not yet done with it--not yet. It's just that some weeks horribly suck.
Reply | Thread | Link

wyld_dandelyon: sleeping dragon by Djinni
User: wyld_dandelyon
Date: 2013-06-21 18:16 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:sleeping dragon by Djinni
This resonates so much with me. I don't have cancer, but my whole adult life has been lived combining chronic invisible illness with a day job (and eventually single parenthood). Too often I've been "borrowing spoons" to do just the minimum to get by until I feel enough better to catch up on things like laundry, and there has been no time-and-energy left for creative work (or even a social life).

So, though it's from a different perspective, I understand your frustration and fatigue.
Reply | Thread | Link

User: martianmooncrab
Date: 2013-06-21 19:09 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
this is not the better living through chemistry that people take drugs for fun... sigh...

I am always suspicious of the traz drugs, they mummify the brain along the way.
Reply | Thread | Link

my journal
January 2014
2012 appearances