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Jay Lake
Date: 2013-07-09 07:43
Subject: [dreams] The weird depths of my subconscious
Security: Public
Tags:art, dreams, friends, race, weird
I had a very vivid dream last night which I was my friend Jeremy Tolbert. I (he?) was living in Kansas, trying to make a career out of graphic design and Web coding. In the course of the dream, I was staying at my parents' house, on a small bed in the living room.

I kept trying to apply for jobs at high tech companies, and being put through weird runarounds by way of some sort of post-modern interviewing technique. Random or nonsense questions, people trying to bribe me, whatnot. Also, I was desperately in love with a girl who'd married someone else while I was off in prison.

But the weirdest moment came during one of the job interviews when the interviewer handed me a page take from a Dick and Jane book. I've tried to recreate here what I saw in the dream:

Dick and Jane page from a dream had by Jay Lake

I read it, and thought, what a weird piece of nativist, racist garbage this is. I asked the interviewer how I was supposed to answer the question, since surprise was very much about the expectations and experience of the reader. He snapped at me to just answer the question, as if I were stupidly misunderstanding something obvious.

Unlike my dream from the night before, I have no idea what this one means. It's not hard to parse the symbolism of much of this dream, but it's pretty hard for me at least to parse the overall meaning, if any. Still, weird. This is the kind of thing I live with in my sleep.

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russ: zen
User: goulo
Date: 2013-07-09 15:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Cool - you found your Niche!
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User: jordan179
Date: 2013-07-09 16:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
The surprising thing, if you know your history, is that as recently as 1886 -- less than 150 years ago -- Apaches and European-Americans were, as groups, trying to kill each other.


And these were brutal wars, even by the brutal standards of the Indian Wars in general. The Apaches were culturally-obsessed with putting captives to death by slow torture; this did not lead to warmth and kindness on the part of the US forces.

It says something good about America that reconciliation was possible in a matter of mere decades: by the 1940's and 1950's, neither side considered the other to be "enemy" in any meaningful sense of the word.

So the question is hardly rhetorical, nor is it "racist." As for "nativist," that's a funny word to append given that the ancestors of the Apaches have been here longer than the ancestors of most present-day Americans: I would think that "nativism" would cut the other way!
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User: shelly_rae
Date: 2013-07-09 17:06 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Hmm, the balloon man and the children makes me thing of e.e.cummings Injust Spring. Apache Ok is one of the towns around the Rez. Geronimo spent the last years of his life as a prisoner in Fort Sills near Apache (which is between Anadarko and Lawton--my family is strewn around there) my father grew up with the last of Geronimo's imprisoned band of warriors--they were never allowed to return home and instead settled in among the Wichita and Arapaho and Southern Cheyenne.

But sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Signifying nothing.
Glad you're remembering your dreams.
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Tamara Kaye Sellman
User: Tamara Kaye Sellman
Date: 2013-07-10 04:25 (UTC)
Subject: What does it mean?
Well, it means you slept deeply last night, plenty of stage 3 and REM sleep to get your body and brain to recuperate. That's the best thing out of all of this, really, that you are getting good solid sleep.

If it makes any difference, I dream weird shit like that every night of my life. Sometimes I turn those stories into flash fictions!
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Gary Emenitove
User: garyomaha
Date: 2013-07-10 13:36 (UTC)
Subject: Look, Jay, Look!
Nothing like the Dick and Jane books I recall. Far too many syllables.
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