Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

[cancer] Slightly better equilibrium today, things to do

I feel a bit better today. Doped up hard last night with both sleep meds and GI meds, and managed nine and a half hours, minus one or two minor biological interruptions. I don't sleep anywhere that much unless my body is very distressed, but given the previous night's badly interrupted and foreshortened sleep and the general state of my GI this past week, "very distressed" is about the right word for it.

Unclear what will happen today. I'm rather afraid that this ongoing, vicious cramping and almost continuous bowel movements is the new normal. Given how many of my other Regorafenib reactions have changed in this past cycle, it would completely unsurprising if that were true.

As it happens, I am needed with Lisa Costello's family today. I've been arranging some legal matters, and we see the attorney this afternoon. While I'm not a party to anything being signed, I am the one in the possession of the most complete information about our goals, and I'm the one who's been speaking to the attorney. Likewise there will be more activity in the coming days, and after our return to Maryland on November 12th with real estate agents, home repair contractors, et cetera, for which I will play a more central role. So at the first sign of trouble today I am doubling up on the GI medication. (Both Lomotil and Imodium, in case anyone's wondering.)

This is a bit of a fool's errand, doubling up on the GI meds. If I were simply suffering from a touch of food poisoning or a gut bug, slowing down my GI would helpful as part of the recovery process. But when I get like I have been this past week, all slowing down my GI does is postpone an ongoing problem, then add painful constipation to my list of things to cope with. What I'm saying is that it ain't going away. All I can do is postpone the inevitable.

There are times when that's needful. Today, for example. Or Thursday, when we fly home. And Friday is my last day for Regorafenib in this cycle, so hopefully over the weekend and next week I'll get a respite. Or if I'm really lucky, this isn't the new normal.

The price of life.

Tags: cancer, family, health, maryland, personal, radiantlisa, travel

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