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Jay Lake
Date: 2013-12-26 09:03
Subject: [cancer] It just keeps getting harder
Security: Public
Tags:cancer, death, health, personal
I had a major emotional wipeout the past few days. Which, frankly, is not over, though I've come far enough through it to keep moving.

The reasons don't really matter. Suffice to say the obvious. Mortality. The holidays. Relationships. Parenting in the time of cancer. The fact that almost every day lately has brought a major, even disastrous new stress.

Basically, I wanted to quit everything. I was very close to cancelling tomorrow's trip to NIH. This is so very hard.

Later, I may talk about some of the details, specifically in the context of explaining the perils of walking this path, and perhaps providing some signposts for others. For now, I have picked myself up and will keep going a little further.

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Debbie N.
User: wild_irises
Date: 2013-12-26 17:55 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Thinking of you, with warmth and hope.
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User: deborahjross
Date: 2013-12-26 19:32 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:blue hills
I'm so sorry this is hard and getting harder for you.
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User: martianmooncrab
Date: 2013-12-26 20:14 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I have picked myself up

thats good, it beats the alternative. I hate those days when just breathing seems futile.. but I remember why we does it. Some days I exist out of sheer spite, but thats just another motivation.

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Soon Lee: Saccharomyces
User: soon_lee
Date: 2013-12-26 23:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Just wanted to say that I appreciate you posting about your experience in such an honest manner.
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User: threeoutside
Date: 2013-12-27 00:56 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
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The Empress of Ice Cream
User: icecreamempress
Date: 2013-12-27 01:09 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I wish you all the best, including serenity where appropriate and inspiring anger where appropriate.
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Agent Mimi: snoopy
User: agent_mimi
Date: 2013-12-27 16:11 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Sending you as many big, virtual hugs as you want or need.
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Coffee Shop Whore
User: skidspoppe
Date: 2013-12-28 09:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Not really sure what to say... but I am listening, for what it's worth...
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January 2014
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