Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake
jaylake

[cancer] It just keeps getting harder

I had a major emotional wipeout the past few days. Which, frankly, is not over, though I've come far enough through it to keep moving.

The reasons don't really matter. Suffice to say the obvious. Mortality. The holidays. Relationships. Parenting in the time of cancer. The fact that almost every day lately has brought a major, even disastrous new stress.

Basically, I wanted to quit everything. I was very close to cancelling tomorrow's trip to NIH. This is so very hard.

Later, I may talk about some of the details, specifically in the context of explaining the perils of walking this path, and perhaps providing some signposts for others. For now, I have picked myself up and will keep going a little further.

Tags: cancer, death, health, personal
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