The reasons don't really matter. Suffice to say the obvious. Mortality. The holidays. Relationships. Parenting in the time of cancer. The fact that almost every day lately has brought a major, even disastrous new stress.
Basically, I wanted to quit everything. I was very close to cancelling tomorrow's trip to NIH. This is so very hard.
Later, I may talk about some of the details, specifically in the context of explaining the perils of walking this path, and perhaps providing some signposts for others. For now, I have picked myself up and will keep going a little further.