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Um, yeah... - Lakeshore
An author of no particular popularity

Jay Lake
Date: 2006-05-03 06:45
Subject: Um, yeah...
Security: Public
Tags:contest, funny, lj, weird
The teddy bear gun.

For bonus points, leave in comments the first line of a story using the phrase "teddy bear gun." We'll have one of my LJ contests to see who has the best opening sentence, I'll give away something cool -- maybe one of the first ARCs of Trial of Flowers. Or my extremely limited edition dark erotica chapbook.
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Kadath in the Cold Waste
User: kadath
Date: 2006-05-03 13:53 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I want a teddy bear gun. (That's not a first sentence of anything except my comment. I just want one of those guns. The bears have wee parachutes!)
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Sherwood Smith
User: sartorias
Date: 2006-05-03 14:00 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Just so we're on the same page--you are ordering me to assassinate God with a teddy bear gun?
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David Reagan: ugly baby
User: coolmajaka
Date: 2006-05-03 14:10 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:ugly baby
She was my replacement, now doubt, with her fresh, fluffy fur, unmarred button eyes that reflected the shafts of light leaking through the cracks of the toy box, and joints that moved freely -- still, she was beautiful, and I wanted her to pop my teddy bear gun.
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Peter Hollo
User: frogworth
Date: 2006-05-03 14:21 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
He's too far gone to keep his subconscious under control; try as he might, schoogirls bring out the worst in him, and thoughts of innocence come with thoughts of violence: "teddy bear" -- "gun!" -- teddy, sexy lingerie, rip it off, bare, oh so bare, and no, not that please, but scenes from Tetsuo II flash before him, and every time the play becomes murder, the teddy bear becomes the gun.
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User: prairie_kittin
Date: 2006-05-03 14:30 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Tucking the innocent looking teddy bear gun under her arm, Fawn determinedly
crossed the parking lot to the institution.
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Paul: TheOtherWind
User: pabba
Date: 2006-05-03 14:33 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I would have shot the bastard with my teddy bear gun if the blasted thing hadn't been hugging my arm all cuddlelike.
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Kelly Green: danger hamster
User: saycestsay
Date: 2006-05-03 14:50 (UTC)
Subject: Remington Steel
Keyword:danger hamster
"Bag my limit today," the girl bragged, cradling her teddy bear gun, "if'n I can find that there teddy bear picnic."
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Jenn Reese: anything
User: jennreese
Date: 2006-05-03 14:50 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Our only chance of survival was the fabled Teddy Bear Gun and its ancient army of plush fury; but, after everything I'd been through, would I prove cuddly enough to wield it?
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2006-05-03 15:05 (UTC)
Subject: The Teddy Bear Gun
Teddy Bear Gun shot off Gumster's legs using his namesake and then hauled ass in the SUV.

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User: gvdub
Date: 2006-05-03 15:20 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
One bright glass eye still mocking him from amidst the ragged chunks of cheap polyester fluff that littered the floor, Albert Gund leaned down to dislodge the plastic teeth from his ankle and silently thanked his secretary, Velma, for insisting that he bring his teddy bear gun to the old warehouse.
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User: jess_ka
Date: 2006-05-03 15:38 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Luscious Terlingua kept a teddy bear gun in her knapsack; Jonas has seen her use it once, taking out the eye of a neighborhood Raz with a little diamond beebee shot from the teddy's paw.
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Keith R.A. DeCandido: crazed writer
User: kradical
Date: 2006-05-03 16:04 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:crazed writer
As soon as the giant trench-coat-wearing ferret burst into the community theatre brandishing a teddy-bear gun and threatening to bop the leading lady to death if he didn't get a helicopter to Fresno right now, Manfred knew that this was not going to be a good day.
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User: akirlu
Date: 2006-05-03 16:11 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Akimbo over the small, fuzzy corpse still oozing fiberfill onto the sidewalk, Barney holstered his teddy bear gun and re-set his hat to a more rakish angle.
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Lawrence M. Schoen: Writer
User: klingonguy
Date: 2006-05-03 16:24 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
The alien god baby's physiology had shrugged off the poisoned strained peas, and its telekinetically hardened dermis hadn't even noticed the exploding C-4 rattle; the Earth's only remaining hope was that the little bastard would blow its brains out while playing with the hair-trigger, teddy bear gun I'd slipped into his crib.
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floatingtide: bunny
User: floatingtide
Date: 2006-05-03 16:35 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
The nightmare goons came through my the door fighting each other to get at me first -- they looked like one creature all spine, hook-teeth and rubbery arms -- but I know how to handle nightmares; I planted my feet, smiled at the biggest goon, and drew my teddy bear gun.
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