Jay Lake (jaylake) wrote,
Jay Lake

The nine circles of genre publishing hell

First Circle
The unpublished, fanfic writers and virtuous editorial interns.

Second Circle
Those who lust for major book contracts without ever having finished a novel.

Third Circle
Cerebrus oppresses the simultaneous submitters and hot-button query writers.

Fourth Circle
Writers of slash. Also careless agents and editors.

Fifth Circle
Publishers do battle in the marshes of the Styx.

Sixth Circle
Packagers and book distributors are trapped in burning warehouses filled with remainders.

Seventh Circle
The Minotaur guards "hot new voices" and "breakout writers."

Eighth Circle
Best selling writers who pretend their science fiction isn't.

Ninth Circle
Critics and reviewers are frozen within Cocytus' ice and forced to suckle from Satan's tail.

Corrections and emendations invited, as always.

Edited according to tnh's excellent suggestions.
Tags: funny, publishing

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